I don’t want to have to post about this anymore. I got tired of this subject before people even got to talking about it. But for some reason, I feel the need to talk about it now.
The subject I’m talking about is the most tired subject of all. It is the one that involves Black Women’s Dating and Marriage Situation. Whatever that is. Because see, I haven’t even figured out what that is. I’m a Black woman, but my dating and marriage situation does not belong to an entity. It is not “Black women’s”. It’s mine. I own it. I and I alone. And it’s nobody’s business but mine. I know that may be hard for a lot of people to believe, but it’s true. My dating and marriage situation is not a statistic. Nobody knows anything about it except me, those closest to me, and God (Who knows more about it than even I do!)
Different people have different agendas. I’ve learned this. One group will tell Black women “lower your standards” (and that’s another thing I haven’t figured out. How does a person “lower” her “standards”?) Another group will say “marry outside your race”. And another group will say “consider polygamy”. Each group has an agenda – something it wanted Black women to do anyway. And each group is taking advantage of a “situation” in order to get what it already wanted.
Now don’t take anything I say the wrong way. If you want to marry interracially, group up, or see yourself as being a “lower standard” for Black women, then go right ahead. You certainly have the God-given right to do any of those things. ( Although I have to say that I like the interracial option for Black women better than I do the man-led orgy option.) I’m just trying to say that this isn’t about American Black women, so much. It’s about somebody trying to get what they want from somebody else. And this is all it’s ever been about. Most of the people who like to flap their lips about “Black Women’s Dating and Marriage Situation in America” don’t give a hoot or two cents about Black women. Because if they did, they wouldn’t bamboozle everybody with these misleading statistics, or immediately bring up their poly fetish.
People who talk about “Black Women’s Dating and Marriage Situation” always want to bring up the “Black Men in Prison” thing. But I don’t understand what this has to do with my “love life”. The two are not even mildly relevant by a long shot. Not as much as I can tell. If anybody out there can show me where the relevancy is, I’d really appreciate it. 
But I warn you, you’ll be in for a task. I mean being that you don’t have access to my “love life” and all. Second thoughts, don’t even bother. Because you would have to be me to answer that question. I’m the only me there is, and I can’t even find the relevancy!
And guess what? Not all women want to be married by the time they’re 25 to 30. I know that’s mind-blowing, but it’s true. There are women who want to wait until they’re well into their thirties and even their forties to marry. AND there are women who will choose to wait longer than that. I know it sounds earth-shattering, but it isn’t. IT’S TRUE. THERE ARE WOMEN WHO HAVE MADE THE CHOICE TO PUT MARRIAGE OFF UNTIL LATER ON! And why? It’s simple. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.
And guess what else? There are women who don’t want to get married PERIOD. I can think of a woman who was interviewed on a radio show one time. I can’t remember her name, but she decided not to get married because she wanted to spend her time touring the country as a professional pianist, and she felt that marriage and children would have taken that away from her.
A lot of people act as if their brains were switched off. Or were never hooked up in the first place. They don’t seem to know that a woman doesn’t have to be married in order to be in love with a man or to be romanced (Everybody should know this). A woman can have several great romances and never be married (Everbody should know this too). Statistics can’t show us the percentage of Black women that have had at least one great boyfriend, or at least one great love affair (that didn’t involve marriage). And marriage doesn’t have to happen when you’re in your twenties. I knew a couple that got married when they were in their 70s. And they had a good life together.
I go back to this Black men shortage thing because I have never been able to figure out what this has to do with me. It just perplexes me and causes me to get really emotional. So, 18000000000000 American Black men are in prison. And that effects my ability to get a husband . . . how?
